If You Can't Say Something Nice....

-By Shannon Collins

As a Weight Watchers leader, one of my favorite moments with members is that initial moment when they enter the meeting room. For some I see a look of shame and discouragement when they admit that this is their 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time joining. For others, I see fear because they have never done anything like this before. There is always one common trait that I see among almost all of my new members - a lack of confidence. They come in feeling defeated and don't trust themselves anymore. 


Why is this my favorite moment with my members??? I realize how critical this moment in time is for their journey! I do understand that not everyone will succeed, but if I treat them like I think they will fail then guess what??? THEY WILL FAIL! Sometimes, but not always, members succeed! I treat each person who approaches me with a hope of success like they will succeed. That is because I KNOW that everyone has the capability to make positive changes in their lives. If everyone has the capability, then why are their so many people that give up??? Well... Weight loss is complicated. It is not completely about knowing the right thing to do. Many of us have so many emotional and mental issues with food, so unless someone is ready to deal with all of those issues they may not succeed.... this time. 


That is my point. Just because someone wasn't successful last time, doesn't mean that they won't be successful this time. Discouragement can destroy a person's confidence. I never want to be the person that destroys someone else's confidence. Even if this time isn't the "right" time for someone, offering them encouragement and believing in them can plant a seed for next time. 



We can be such powerful influences in each others' journeys! How can you encourage someone today? Do you really believe in other people's abilities to succeed? If so, do you tell them that? Studies have shown that our brains have a "negativity bias". That means that negatives have a greater impact on our brain than positives. That is why insults and criticism stick with us longer than compliments. Basically, because we are hard-wired to take in more of the negative, it takes more positives to outweigh the negatives. Several smaller positive remarks pack more of a punch than one large positive comment. SO WHAT??? Well knowing that can help us take responsibility for our role in other people's lives. Being a positive force can be so powerful! Do you want to feed into the negativity bias of the brain OR contribute to positive energy? It gives new meaning to the quote: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."